Parents must be forever mindful of the often extensive long-term, damaging effects of either parent involving their minor children in the adult issues related to the divorce.
We caution our parents to never inadvertently use their children as “tools” to hurt the other parent. Unintentional or inadvertent behaviors such as, for example: speaking (venting) on the phone to a friend discussing the divorce/parenting issues; carelessly name-calling within hearing distance of the children; or sharing inappropriate information concerning your view of his/her many mistakes and his/her weakened, flawed inappropriate information concerning your view of his/her many mistakes and weakened, flawed character to your children; or venting to your children when you are fatigued from the process are some of the typical mistakes we discuss with our clients.
Often times, the underlying purpose of this kind of behavior is to manipulate and control the other parent or to punish the parent for the many disappointments or injustices he or she feels they have endured during the marriage. These issues are ripe for counseling.